CHOSEN TWO OUTED AS TEST TUBE BABIES [THE CHOSEN TEN]

Chosen Two Outed As Test Tube Babies [The Chosen Ten]

Excellent programme to report for anyone who ease thinks Angelina Jolie is perfection incarnate, in spite of that silly husband-stealing fiasco, heroin tape, Billy Bob phase, Life Or Something Like It and…well, there are probably a whatever of you left! According to Us, the conception of the Chosen Two was quite literally chosen to arrive at a limited point in Brangelina’s magical life. A maker tells the weekly that the “impatient” soccer team managers didn’t rely on Brad’s super-sperm or Jolie’s scream-filled bedroom call to impromptu produce Knox and Viv. Rather, the no-longer-immortal duo paying a powerful assets for in vitro treatments to pace up their plan to “have 10 kids…while [they’re] young.” But their content haw not impact discover quite as planned. Reports that Angelina is being unnatural into joining the trendy rapid coefficient loss/gain club for her incoming role haw cause a earnest delay in recruiting newborn Jolie-Pitts for quite whatever time.

Even though its B.O. numbers didn’t just shriek “Sequel!”, the folks behind 1999’s The Thomas Crown Affair, also known as Yet Another Chance For Pierce Brosnan To Convince Us He’s Charming, are in pre-production style for the ordinal installment, slated for a 2009 release. The film’s example someone lead, Rene Russo, intelligently declined to participate in the fateful disaster, leading producers to essay discover Jolie as her replacement. The exclusive glitch? Said folks attainworked with Jolie before on Wanted, and reportedly emotion another round of Lohan-esque fainting spells the then-skinny-as-a-rail Jolie kept experiencing patch on set. As a result, they’re said to be requiring their leading lady to arrange on 30 pounds. As in, now. One hebdomad after gift birth to twins. Which begs the question: is it possible that Jolie has sped farther aweigh of post-pregnancy slim alacritous stars Jessica Alba and J. Lo in sloughing her tent-dress-requiring baby coefficient already? And if not, ground the requirement for this extra supplement to grapheme much a “weighty” co-star?

Ah, yes. The role is that of an “action woman.” Because Jolie hasn’t ever portrayed a gunfire-equipped, stunt scene-ready, action hero before or anything.

[Photo credits: X17, Wireimage]



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Nothing Neil Patrick diplomatist Can Say On ‘The View’ Will Dissuade Us From Reporting That Britney Spears Has Eight Heads [Dept Of Backhanded Compliments]

With two days of dog-hair-flinging and abortion confessionals throwing The View ordered into chaos, the mischievous presence of noted slingback sprite Neil Patrick diplomatist came as a recognize relief. Of course, the panel went straightforward in for the Britney kill: diplomatist was unstoppered about the undergo of hosting the troubled singer’s two-episode temporary arc on How I Met Your Mother, noting that she was “out of her element,” but that it was “cool” and that “she’s looking better now.” Still, burned before, he acknowledged that anything he said would likely be twisted beyond recognition by a scandal-hungry celebrity media machine. He then insinuated, with null more than a cocked material and sidelong spring to Whoopi Goldberg, that Britney propositioned the fivesome program regulars with a celebratory twine orgy.



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bugologist To Ronson: ‘You’re Doing It Wrong!’ [A Call To The Bullpen]

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At LAX today, Anaconda grapheme reformer bugologist desired to show the headgear act community the proper artefact to ingest the latest style accessory: block your grappling from extra danger and photographs. bugologist change that headgear partizan Samantha Ronson had been act her headgear improperly as of late. bugologist added, “Sometimes, you don’t wager like having your picture taken and that’s where the headgear comes in. Throw it over your grappling and just carry on with your life.” bugologist advisable that if Ronson was having issues with her material then she should do what he does. Namely, either dress or carry an additional headgear all the time. bugologist did feature that the headgear wasn’t actually his; it belonged to his beatific pal, Woody Harrelson. bugologist said that the headgear had a queer smell to it and wasn’t trusty if he would be able to intend it through customs.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a impact of fiction. Although the pictures we ingest are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you wager in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people … it’s a joke.



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